Well hello everyone!
Things have been pretty quiet on the blog front lately. I guess it took awhile to find the time and motivation to sit down type again.
I cannot believe we’re already HALFWAY through 2016. I remember the last real post I wrote like it was yesterday. The one where I dumped all my pent-up feelings and emotions out, only to just about disappear for awhile. I did do a few vlogs here and there, but to be honest…
I lost the desire to want to blog.
It started out unintentionally. In the last half of the year, posts started getting a little more sparse. Part of it was that I truly have been swamped at work. I meant to fit the blog in and come back, but it didn’t feel right. I was tired, I was uninspired. And I swore to myself that I would no longer write a post for the sake of it. I had to want to write. It couldn’t feel like a chore.
My shit year that was 2015 caught up to me by the end, and I needed some time to relax, take life in, heal and just do me. I cut back in several areas. I reprioritized. I did what I had to.
The work I’ve been doing in therapy has been incredibly helpful and healing. Frankly I don’t know where I’d be without it.
Here I am, six months later, and I’m feeling pretty good. 2016 has already been far better than 2015, but so has been my ability to cope with life’s ups and downs.
I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation why I’ve been absent, but it finally felt like time to check in with ya’ll again. To let you know I’m OK.
I’ve kept up with other blogs as much as I was able to. Even being a blog reader can be incredibly consuming. My inbox spiraled out of control the whole time too, and I still have tons of unread Bloglovin’ feeds. I’ll get to them eventually, but I can’t let the feeling of obligation control my actions anymore.
Something seems to have happened to blogs since I first started writing almost three years ago. The sense of community changed. Posts seemed less genuine. Less interesting to me. Not all, by any means, but many. Bloggers I love that were pivotal to me in the beginning have left. Some even came back and left again. Others, like me, just slowly started disappearing. I’m not sure what happened exactly, or why or how, and that doesn’t really matter anyway. Who knows, maybe it was me that changed…or didn’t keep up with the change.
I guess for various reasons, I don’t feel like I don’t need to blog anymore. I held off writing this post for a long time just in case that changed, but I don’t think it will. And I’m OK with that.
For awhile, coming here and writing, reading others’ posts, emailing with my new blog friends, doing the whole “blog thing” helped me immensely. I needed it. I worked through a lot of stuff in some of the posts, and had some light-hearted fun in others. This blog served a big purpose for me for those years.
But now? When I come home from work, or on the weekends, I am finding fulfillment in other ways. I’m investing in myself, in my marriage, in my hobbies and the other things that are important to me. I still struggle with some things, but I now know how to fix it without logging in to WordPress. In fact, blogging has been the last thing on my mind lately. And I’m OK with that too.
What have I been up to though?
WE BOUGHT A HOUSE! Our first house. We did it. Finally. And it feels great.
Brick loves it too. Seeing him enjoy his own yard for the first time makes my heart melt.
I could write a series of posts all about the house, but frankly, I don’t want to. Instead, I’m going to get back to living.
I’m not sure how much I’ll be back here. I may come back for my life updates, and I might not. All I know is I’m not going to worry about it.
That being said, if anyone wants to keep in touch more regularly, feel free to email me anytime. I may be quieter on the blog and on social media, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still chat or swap funny cat memes! In fact, I invite you to that. I ADORE that kind of stuff.
All the best, my blog friends. See you when I see you.